Too deep for words

I have had rough hospital visits before, but none quite like this.  I had been able to meet Felix on June 10th, turned out we were birthday buddies.  We chatted, we prayed, we hit the road.  Like most trips, we joke about not seeing each other in the hospital again, hoping instead they will be at home in a short time.

But this time I went back over a month later to find Felix not better, but much worse.  He was not really conscious, his mother was struggling to get his diaper on, and they were behind a kind of isolation wall separating them from the other kids in the ward.  Infection it seemed he had picked up, but that did not explain what was wrong.  It was a rough scene.  Mom was working hard...but immediately when I said something about us coming back when things were more settled she immediately and urgently just asked us to pray.  We did.  I managed to hold it together...seeing him there, eyes darting back and forth, not sure if he could understand or hear anything.  

I meant to finish this blog post a month ago.  I could not seem to find how to put the period on the sentence if you will.  We were to go back to the hospital in August, but I got stuck with the sick Ford while Valerie and the group walked on foot (we were only a few blocks away.)  She made sure to check on Felix though...a grade four type of some tumor is now the diagnosis.  It was just a matter of waiting for him to die, and his mother was just concerned whether or not he was feeling any pain during this whole process.  

So I post this to ask you to pray for Felix and his mom.  

And I guess I post this to just share a life struggle.  The moments where they leave you wanting to cry and then yell at God...then giving pause to the brevity of life, and how brief this one is being taken away...just a mix of emotions, thoughts and logic...and then remember Romans 8:26 "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."