I believe that I need to shed further light to my post yesterday. Several very thoughtful people have commented and offered prayer...and more to the point of my feeling in a clarifying mood...made a comment something of the sort of "I did not know things were so bad!"
If I gave that impression, then I apologize. My intention was quite the opposite.
God be praised! I can find joy in Him!
I thought it would be interesting for you to read about some struggles, balanced with moments of clarity and God allowing light to shine in...the point was that no matter how dark things might seem, how insurmountable, God is there to help us, guiding us, seeing us through it for His purpose!
I will be brief, but today was another day for that....some criticism (I tried to listen...it seems unfair, but still, even when being attacked unfairly, it is sound advice to still take a look to see if there is even a shred of underlying truth there.) The criticism was indirecxt, as I was not present at the meeting. The criticism hurt more than it was probably meant to be hurtful...not an attack on my performance so much as to who I am (not as outgoing or as much of a pop-in-visitor as the former missionaries were.)
However, despite our not being on the same page on what I should be like as a person (I can understand his point of view, especially from this culture, although I have nor the inclination nor especially the time to be that kind of guy)...I can rejoice in the work God is doing through me...and through him! During the recent CHE training we had last week, they gave us a little booklet, a way to share with people the Gospel message (I posted a little of me using it at the clinic), but in a way that involves the other person...not just preaching to them, but getting their input page after page. He casually went to the clothing store, shared in it with 10 people, and at Church the following Sunday, six of those were there...not just as visitors, but proclaiming they would congregate there, that God had touched their lives through those few minutes when they came for clothing.
WOW! They came for clothing...a ministry God provides through us. That store is associated with a Church...that God planted through the mission. The pastor shared training he had received...through a seminar we had a hand in organizing. It gives me pause to think of the true meaning of "Consider Him." Just think of all the steps God went to, continues to go to....to reach out to us involved in His ministry, and those He would have us touch outside bringing them inside.
We do not work for our own gratification, our own comfort! I rejoice in what God does through all of us, in the different ways He equips us, and grows us...it is not always pleasant at the time, but for our good (Romans 8:29) and His glory!
Oh, and I am getting closer on that fun paperwork stuff too. God is glorified in that as well. How...is not my concern, I just know He is, and that I am supposed to do it. That is enough for me! Join with me please in praising Him through it all, and hoping that I have better explained a little portion of my work here lately!