Identifying with Sister Aloysius Beauvier

Doubt.  I doubt many things at many times.  I also doubt that I am alone.


I was thinking of the movie "Doubt" recently.  Good movie, but I was just thinking of it in light of my life.  As Sister Aloysius says at the end of the movie "I have doubts...I have such doubts."  Hers related to an unproven accusation.  I just have them all over the place.


Unless you get to do something physical, it is often hard to gauge your success in life quickly and easily.  If you build a building...you see the results, and you know how you did, generally speaking. 


Quite a bit of what we do does not meet those criteria.


Leadership...development...Church growth...Church planting...how I help raise my kids, this list is probably as long as yours, different, but lengthy either way. 


Brigades for example.  I know and have seen the effect they can have long term in changing lives and communities.  They can be improved, we can do better to witness and testify...but they have proven their worth. 

But still, sometimes I just doubt. 


That is why hearing from Valerie that a traumatic cataract that I referred from a medical brigade last month actually came to the clinic was...encouraging.  Sometimes you do things, you tell people things (either in this case being giving instruction on what this little six year old boy had and what mom should do after he got hit in the eye with a rock, or... sharing the love of Christ that is even more important and exciting yet I seem to stumble through doing time and time again) and you wonder...are they really listening?  Do they really get it?  Am I doing this the right way?


I have heard it said that the person that is never with any doubts is in more danger of the road they are taking than those that question the course they have determined.  That doubts are natural and not to be scared of them, but work  through them.


Another quote from the movie "Doubt can be a bond as powerful and sustaining as certainty. When you are lost, you are not alone"

Some see doubt equal to weakness.  I am weak, I know that.  But I also know "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."