I am sitting here Monday afternoon with plenty to do, papers surrounding my workspace that at least in my mind are pleading for my attention...needing my attention...and they will be satisfied, but it just seemed like a good moment to stop and blog....catharsis if you will for the mind.
We had a good table talk get together on Saturday afternoon, in a neighborhood Valerie and the kids had never been able to see before...a gated community overlooking the reservoir, about five minutes from where we currently live. It is bizarre to see the reservoir, let alone streets with no trash, no problems, and beautiful flowers, great houses, and apparent security to the point that several homes have no walls or gates, not to mention the big cage for macaws and monkeys. The whole scene is so pretty...and so odd to see here, not to mention after I looked up some houses for sale on the internet...expensive.
Today I was doing several things at once. Thanks to my bad back, I could not help the guys load the clothes in the truck...nor unload, so I was able to be on the phone trying to work out sites for the eye brigades we will be doing next week, trying to get someone to drain the new clinic septic tank (almost full in less than a month means we will be digging a new tank in the next month)....especially less than the $500 the first place quoted me. My only hope to avoid paying that is through...gulp...the government water program here. We shall see.
Between email, heading out to do that plus check in with Dora and distribute some more donated stuff, a Skype meeting, and paperwork business (like...monthly paperwork, paying staff, clothing ministry, etc.) I have not stopped to eat all day. I probably should be doing that.
Valerie and I actually talked yesterday after a few seemingly unrelated events about how we really should be doing a better job taking care of ourselves as it pertains to...everything, but specifically as a couple, family, and people given charge to direct the mission's work. I realize it is important, and while my upbringing (more in work environments than something I was taught) teaches me to work until you are done...or until you can do no more, I am gathering that is not always best for the long term.
I am so happy, so grateful, so driven...that I want to keep going! But sometimes we all "acquire" those blinders that focus us, or limit us, and while our objective might be righteous...it does not mean we can ignore what is around us that also needs our attention. I repent of wearing those blinders...and not that I am now reformed, but still wince as I type this, still needing to find that balance.
Kind of like today. The smog was bad...kind of still is, although I do believe the planes were able to land, or at least most of them. Just because I can not see what lies beyond the smog does not mean it is no longer there. What I could see was great, but my view does not necessarily represent what is actually best. I thought about that as I stood there seeing a great grayish whiteness in front of me. Knowing what it is, it looks bad. But just looking and not knowing...it almost looks pretty.
Keep praying for Valerie...she does so much for so many, it is beyond me. She will get to go on a women's retreat this weekend before the group arrives, we pray it is one of refreshment physically and encouragement spiritually.