Monday, October 5, 2009

I should be

I think that often lately. Right now...I should be getting ready for bed.

I should be rooting for the Packers, but I take an unexplained pleasure in seeing Brett Favre do well.

I should be crying, because sometimes it feels like I am at the end of my rope. Of course, that is just time to realize that God is in control...that everything does happen for a reason (what we would clasify as the good and the bad) and that sometimes you have to be at the end of your rope before you realize...your rope sucks anyway, God's rope He is moving does actual work versus mine that goes nowhere but my own ego.

I should be concerned about the political state of affairs....not just in Honduras, but in many places throughout the world and what that could bring, but I am not. See above....God is control of the world's rope, no matter how big an ego any man or woman may have about their place in this world.

I should be freaking out from all the rumors I hear about the above politics here (and in the US)...things not just heard in blogs, the news, papers but hear from brothers and sisters in Christ, even thinking certain politicians are the anti-christ, or that the "fix" is in because of some certain sign or event, or somehow draggin Israel into the picture, you name it. And yet here I am...not freaking out. Part of the reason is that despite people trying to make this country out a certain way, I feel as safe as I ever have here. Sure, that does not mean all is hunky dory (I heard of another kidnapping at Church on Sunday) but when is it?

I should be concerned with the overall health of our family. Not just Valerie's continued health struggles physically, but how that, plus busy-ness genuine good work, and that big "etc." seem to get in the way of us really being a family. Are we tied together as one unit, or being pulled differnet directions? I have to go to the US for a month for the mission, Valerie feels led to spend two weeks over Christmas visiting her sister, the kids have school, we both have work, plus work after work, work on the weekends, obligations, things we want to do...and with all the sin of busy-ness comes the sin of thinking "it will get better soon." What a lie Satan gives will not get better, only worse, because we soak it up, and he gives us as much as we want, like some kind of drug.

I should be also thinking of Dora, of Dilcia, of so many people we know here and how they struggle in so many ways: to stay alive, to be safe, in providing a very basic education to their children, in having a meal at least once a day, in having loving people living with them, and so much more.

I have a mental list much longer...but as hard as it is to do...sometimes I should just stop thinking about the mountain of things I should be doing and should just stop doing. But until then, well, time to get busy leaving this for something else.

I'll get around to that one of these days, ma.

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